Diary With Deena | My Hijab Story
Salam, gals! I hope you’re all doing great. I’m so sorry for the delay in getting this blogpost out to you guys. It went through several rewrites because I wanted it to be as good as possible. The Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him, once said, “The best of charity is when a Muslim man gains knowledge, then he teaches it to his Muslim brother,” so you’ll notice it’s a little long as I tried to include what I thought was most beneficial from my experience with hijab. And while I have bolded the different things you might be more interested in reading, I highly encourage you to read the whole thing. You never know what you might benefit from inshaAllah! I’ve been planning this blogpost in my head for so long and I’ve tried several times to write something like this but I feel like the words just never came out right. But, thanks to the gals who helped me on Instagram by asking me questions, it helped me figure out where to start. So, let’s get into it!
What Is Hijab?
Many of us know what hijab is on a superficial level, but can’t really explain it to people who are hearing of it for the first time. We often tell people hijab is a scarf that a Muslim woman uses to cover her hair. But in actuality, the word “hijab” translates from Arabic to “barrier”, “screen”, “partition” or “veil”. If you’d like to read the specific verses where the word “hijab” is used in the Holy Qur’an, and their meanings, click here. For an example, in the chapter of the Holy Qur’an called “Ash-Shuraa” (The Consultation) in verse 51, Allah says, “It is not possible for a human being to have Allah communicate with them, except through inspiration, or from behind a veil, or by sending a messenger-angel to reveal whatever He wills by His permission. He is surely Most High, All-Wise.” The word hijab in Arabic is used here to describe how no human could ever communicate with Allah except from behind something such as a veil, so that no one could know what He looks like.
That’s kind of how the word hijab came to be used to describe the way a Muslim woman dresses; it is a barrier between her beauty and the eyes of others. Specifically, the clothing she wears to cover her whole body (except for her face and hands) so that men she is not related to can’t see what she looks like. In Islam, it is required that a woman covers everything except her face, hands and feet for prayer, out of respect, devotion and love for Allah (swt). It is also important that a woman dresses this way outside of prayer too so others know that she is a Muslim and that she adheres to certain standards. Allah has prescribed upon women and men to dress and behave modestly; ultimately, for protection from many harmful things in life such as the eyes of others (jealousy and envy, specifically), inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex, etc.
Modesty is an important factor in many religions, not just in Islam. For instance, Mary (Mariam, in Arabic), mother of Jesus (‘Isa, in Arabic), is never depicted without being covered. In Islam, men are only required to cover their bodies from the navel to just above the knees when in the presence of others. Meanwhile, a Muslim woman is only permitted to show her face, hands, and feet when in the presence of men that she is not related to. The only people who can see more than that of a Muslim woman are other women, her husband, and men who she can not marry (i.e. her father, uncles, brothers, sons, grandsons, nephews, father-in-law, son-in-law, stepfather and stepson). When she is in the presence of women only, she is only required to cover from her navel to her knees. While there are different ways that men and women are required to cover their bodies, Allah loves modesty and it is always encouraged. Dressing this way also serves as a constant reminder that we are aiming to please Allah (swt) and we do not do it for anyone else. I do want to say that there are different schools of thought around the specifics of hijab, so if you are interested, I encourage you to do your own research and come to your own conclusions, and Allah knows best.
I am not exactly sure how the word hijab came to be used today to describe a head-covering, but in the Holy Qur’an (which is what we should pay attention to anyway), there are specific words used to describe the type of clothing a woman should use to cover herself such as “jilbab” (wide shirt/dress) and “khimar” (something with which a woman conceals her head). To avoid confusion though, I will continue to use the word hijab to describe the headscarf and modest clothing, together. However, I’d like you to keep in mind that it should really be seen as an overarching concept and/or state of being, and not reduced to a simple fabric worn on the head.
While dressing modestly is a big part of a Muslim’s faith, Islam is also so much more than just that. The 5 pillars of Islam (profession of faith, 5 daily prayers, charity/alms giving, fasting during Ramadan, and pilgrimage to Mecca) and so many more factors about Islam are also extremely important, and for both Muslim women and men. It’s easy to focus on what we can see others wearing but so much of Islam is more than just dressing a certain way. Part of the reason so many women feel that it is so hard to keep up with hijab (especially nowadays with social media) is because they feel that people are only looking at their heads and not giving any consideration to their character (akhlaq, in Arabic). There are so many Muslims around the world who cover from head to toe but are people you would never want to keep in your company, and there are also so many Muslims that do not cover from head to toe, but are the best people you will ever meet.
We should never assume how “religious” a woman (or man) is based off of her outward appearance. Islam is about an individual’s personal relationship with Allah, which not a single human can really know about another. Trying to judge how religious our brothers and sisters in Islam are is a very negative way to treat them and can really harm a person’s outlook on Islam as a whole. At the end of the day, we are all human and should be doing our best to please Allah, not the people around us. So if you ever feel like you want to give advice to someone because they don’t appear to you how you think they should appear, give them the advice only if you truly care about their spiritual state, and make sure to discuss it ever so politely and in PRIVATE, you never know what is truly in their heart. What you say to them can bring them closer to Allah, or push them away, so please be mindful of that. Oftentimes, especially on social media, it is easy for people to feel like they can be cyber morality-police and publicly call out Muslim brothers and sisters when they feel like they aren’t meeting their standards; but this approach pushes people away from Islam and causes unnecessary hurt and embarrassment.
Hijab truly is a state of being, not just a way to dress. A Muslim mindful of her hijab should be respectful of herself as well as respectful and kind towards others. A Muslim mindful of her hijab should not braggingly show off to others all of the things that God has blessed her with. Muslim women mindful of their hijab should protect that which God has specifically blessed them with (beautiful hair and body) from the eyes of others, especially men that are not their husbands or relatives. All of this is hijab; it has many meanings and is a beautiful concept that everyone, not only Muslims, can appreciate. Hijab is a decision that each individual Muslim woman needs to make in her heart, and no one is going to ask her about it besides Allah (swt).
Now, let’s get into my experience.
My Hijab Story
Since I was young, I knew I was going to wear hijab someday. I didn’t know when, but I knew I would. My mom wears hijab; my sister, aunts and cousins do too, so I felt it was only natural that I would follow suit someday. Although they ensured that I never dressed immodestly, my parents never forced hijab on me, alhamdulilah, and neither did anyone else in my life. However, I was asked by many people when I would wear hijab pretty much all the time after I hit puberty so I had my response pretty rehearsed. I used to tell people it was going to be after I graduate, after I get married, after I have kids, blah blah blah. The truth was, I really didn’t know what I wanted to do about it, and my thoughts about it changed many times over the years.
Part of the reason my thoughts about hijab changed many times over the years is because of how it was introduced to me from the community that I grew up in as a child. I was told that if I didn’t do it the second I hit puberty, I’d get sins every time someone looked at me and that I’d end up in Hell after I died. It was such a backwards way of teaching and it scared me so much. It made me think Islam was too hard and that it was easier to be punished than to be rewarded. And for a long time during my pre-teen and early teen years, I actually believed that I was ‘less religious’ than the girls around me who decided to wear hijab right after hitting puberty. I felt ostracized, sad and so disconnected from the masjid and my faith as a whole.
During those critical pre-teen years, my parents did their best to assure me that as long as I was a good person, prayed my daily prayers, fasted during Ramadan, etc, that Allah would take care of me. They also taught me that as long as I asked Allah for forgiveness for whatever I did, Allah would forgive me, but the things that my Islamic school teachers and friends told me got to me more than my parents could. From my experience, I learned that teaching young Muslims about Islam should never come from a place of fear about all of the things that can put you in the Hellfire, but should be about how to live your life in a way that will get you into Heaven. Allah is the Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful), Al-Wadood (The Most Loving), Al-Ghafoor (The Exceedingly Forgiving) and has so many more kind and amazing attributes, why wouldn’t we want our children to learn that first? Unfortunately, I learned that later, but it corrected my thinking as well as my relationship with my Creator.
I came to the realization that my faith was between me and Allah, and I forced myself back into the masjid, hijab or no hijab. The masjid was for me too. I realized that not a single person on this Earth can tell me anything about my relationship with my Creator, whether they think I look like I have one, or they think I look like I don’t. Although people never really stopped asking me when I would wear hijab, in spending more time at the masjid, I learned that I had a capacity for faith in my heart that I did not know I had. And that’s how my relationship with Allah (swt) strengthened, and I continued to come back, alhamdulilah. Looking back now, it was more important for my own spiritual journey that I found my connection with Allah (swt) first, before I searched for hijab.
I spent a lot more time at the masjid by the time I got to high school and it only increased by college. My entire 4 years at university, I never took a Friday class because I wanted to be able to attend Friday prayer. I also loved attending evening lectures, and I would stay the entire night every night for taraweeh (nightly prayers during Ramadan). It was really special to me, the connection I had to the masjid and the people I would pray next to. But at some point later on, I felt like something wasn’t right.
I would wear hijab each time I visited the masjid, out of respect for the house of Allah, but it continuously confused people. They would see me outside of the masjid without my hijab and tell me, “Oh, I thought you wore hijab!” and I would say “Haha, inshaAllah someday. Pray for me,” because I was used to getting people off my back about it. At some point though, it really started to hit me; that with each visit to the masjid wearing hijab, I would leave without it. It eventually left a void inside me each time I would go to the masjid. The more I attended, the more I wanted to fully and truly be the person that I was in the masjid, outside of the masjid too. I didn’t want to feel like I was missing something from my faith. By my second year of college, I felt like I was really considering it more seriously. I didn’t tell anyone how I felt and I just kept it in the back of my mind while I silently looked more into it.
I asked questions about hijab, I made duaa (supplication) to Allah for help in my decision, and of course, I continued to visit the masjid. Then, after a lot of thought and duaa, during the last 10 days of Ramadan 2018, (the holiest days of that month, may we all benefit from it each year, inshaAllah), I made the intention with Allah (swt) that on New Years Day, 2019, I would wear hijab. New year, new me, right? I am so grateful for having made that decision then, because I had about 6 months to realistically prepare for it. I didn’t tell a single person of my plans, not my parents, and not even my husband. I knew if I told anyone what I was planning they would say to me, “If you’ve already made up your mind, why wait until New Years?” and, honestly, I really didn’t want anyone’s input influencing my decision. I wanted the decision to truly come from my heart and my devotion to Allah (swt). So, I silently prayed to Allah to make it easy on me and sure enough, on January 1st, I did it, alhamdulilah.
2 years later, it is still a decision that I am proud of and that I stand by, alhamdulilah. I pray that Allah (swt) continues to bless me for it and that He helps me keep my intentions true. Ameen. While I hope that telling my story will benefit whoever reads it inshaAllah, it is also a reflection and a reminder for myself, so that I can always remember how I got there and why I did, and to be grateful for it, inshaAllah. Please keep me in your prayers as well!
My Tips and Advice For Those Interested in Wearing Hijab Soon
Make the intention. The most important first step is to truly ask for Allah’s help in your decision. Ask Him to make it easy on you and to guide you. Make your intention with Him and tell Him you are doing this for His sake. This part never goes away! Even for those of you who feel like you’re on a low with your hijab, renew this intention! The Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him, once said, “Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended.”
Take it in stages. The best advice I can give you regarding how to approach wearing hijab is to do it gradually. Islam itself came gradually. The Qur’an was not sent down in one day, so you shouldn’t have to just take one day to wear hijab either. For me, it was so much easier to take specific steps:
Make the intention to take it seriously
Ask people you trust a lot of questions (I even went to see the sheikh in my local masjid to learn more about it, no shame in that!)
Research hijab on your own and read more about the Prophet (pbuh) (will help you see all the beauty in Islam from his beautiful story!)
Unfollow people on Instagram that do not align with the values you want to have and follow people who inspire you with their hijab
Buy everything you think you would need to make hijab easy as possible on you (scarves, modest clothing, etc)
Try out your style and see what works for you
Choose a good start date like New Years so you could have a specific day in mind and it’s not just some random Wednesday lol
Increase your visits to the masjid! This will help so much with getting used to dressing modestly and having a scarf on your head!
Research and ask questions. The Prophet Muhammed, may peace and blessings be upon him, once said, “Whoever takes a path upon which to obtain knowledge, Allah makes the path to Paradise easy for him.” As I mentioned, I went to see the sheikh at my local masjid for guidance. When I described the approach I was taking, he actually told me that’s the smartest way to do it. He answered so many of my questions and so did several other people that I trusted! Never be ashamed of wanting to learn more before making a big decision! Remember, hijab is a commitment and you want to do what you can to make it stick!
Follow people who inspire you, and unfollow those who don’t. There is no reason to follow the Kardashians, I mean, really, c’mon. There is nothing good that you can gain from looking at their pictures. Unfollow them and all the people like them! Instead, follow people who inspire you to be better. Whether you believe it or not, what you’re absorbing on social media on a daily basis can really affect how you think and conduct yourself, so be careful! Some of the people I followed then who still inspire me so much are:
Leena Snoubar (@withloveleena)
Noha Hamid (@nohahamid)
Yasemin K (@yazthespaz89)
Summer Albarcha (@summeralbarcha)
Jasmine Fares (@jasminefares)
Omaya Zein (@omayazein)
Make your start date a special day. For me, I knew from the beginning I did not want to start on a random day. If you can, more power to you. But if you’re like me, I needed a specific date in mind that I could look forward to and that would be at a time that makes sense to start new things. Everyone makes resolutions at New Years, and hijab was mine. I had time to tell my family and those closest to me and when I saw people who had no idea I started wearing hijab, I simply told them it was my New Years resolution. You can also start at the beginning of the school year in August/September when no one knows who you are on the first day of class! Other good options are your birthday, first day of Ramadan and either of the Eid holidays. And since we’re all still stuck in this never-ending quarantine, no one is seeing anyone anyway! You could start now and have your time to get used to it!
Have fun with it! Don’t get so bogged down by the seriousness of it all. Hijab is not meant to be a burden, so have your fun with it! Try new styles, buy things that excite you, have meaningful conversations about it with people you love! These things will lift your fears (inshaAllah) and make you feel much more prepared to take the plunge.
Duaa, Duaa, Duaa. If I haven’t mentioned it enough, duaa is the most important part. Not just when you’re in the process of wearing hijab, but even if you already wear it. Ask for Allah’s blessings, reward and HELP, and not just when you’re feeling low. Ask Him to protect you from feeling stress, sadness, and confusion about hijab, and to Him protect you from anything haram (forbidden by Allah) while wearing it. Ask Him to make you a great example of a Muslim and to make you among the saliheen (those who do good/pious people). May Allah answer all of our duaa.
Take a deep breath; Islam is meant to be simple, so keep it that way! Allah says in the Holy Quran, “We have not revealed the Qur’an to you to cause you distress, but as a reminder to those in awe [of Allah]” {20:2-3}. If you start to feel anxious, turn to Allah, ask others for their advice, read about it. More knowledge will lead to less anxiety. You will be okay! And inshaAllah, better off for it.
Answering Your Questions!
What made you decide to do it?
It was honestly just my time for it subhanAllah. Allah (swt) made it easy for me to decide (alhamdulilah) by putting that longing feeling for hijab in my heart after spending so much time in the masjid. Spending more time in prayer, around good people and in the masjid in general, I think, would give anyone that feeling.
How did you know you were ready?
I am one of the few people who thinks you actually can feel ready for hijab. I feel confident in saying that anyone who takes my advice and works their way up to it versus going cold turkey, will actually feel better prepared and truly ready for it. So many people told me “you’ll never feel ready, you just have to do it”, but this advice didn’t work for me. I understand why someone might give that advice, but the way I look at it, trying to feel ready for hijab is like studying for a big exam. Would you go into a big exam without having studied for it? Don’t you feel confident that you’ll get a good grade if you studied hard? Study hijab, prepare yourself by getting all the things you’ll need (so that you can’t make any more excuses as to why you can’t do it yet), make duaa, set a date, and inshaAllah you will be ready! You’ll still be nervous as the day gets closer, as every test taker can attest to, but you’ll also be excited to finally do it and see how it all ends up :)
How did you push yourself and gain the confidence to do it?
Confidence is the key in EVERYTHING you do. No one knows how you feel inside besides you, and Allah (swt), so girl, fake it till you make it! You can wear your hijab, own it, rock it, and no one can tell you what’s up because it. is. for. YOU. YOUR relationship with Allah. YOUR spiritual journey. You’ll never know if you can do it until you try, and I know that you can do it, because I did it too.
How did you feel the first time you left your house wearing hijab?
I honestly did not feel that strange. I was so used to leaving the house in hijab to go to the masjid anyway so it didn’t feel any different, alhamdulilah! If you’re wondering how it feels, wear hijab before you leave the house for the masjid and see how it feels for you :)
Do you have any funny stories from when you first started?
Not exactly a funny story, but the actual day I wore hijab, January 1st, 2019, I happened to be flying from Toronto to NYC. It was 5am, I was in sweats, a black jersey hijab and a black winter beanie on top. I was already anxious about traveling alone (which I always am) and because this was my first time out as a hijab-wearing woman, especially at an airport which is unfortunately nerve wrecking for Muslims everywhere already. I got to security and guess what: I was “randomly” selected for a security check. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but in the moment, I couldn’t help but think “My God, this has to be because of my hijab.” I had never been randomly checked at the airport before in my life, and I have travelled a fair amount. I was so sad for our community and for the many men and women before me who were humiliated in the middle of busy airports everywhere. At that moment, I felt worried about the decision I had just made that morning. It was almost like a last minute, “are you sure you want to do this?” but my answer was yes. I put my faith in Allah, and I kept going. And again, 2 years later, I am still so happy with my decision, alhamdulilah.
How did people react to seeing you in hijab outside of the masjid for the first time?
I had several reactions! As I mentioned in my story, I hadn’t told anyone that I was going to start wearing hijab. I was a bit nervous to even tell my family because for some reason I thought they wouldn’t trust that I knew what I was doing. The first people to find out were my husband (then fiancé), best friend, and sister. So when my parents saw me for the first time, they were surprised, but said they were really proud of me for making that decision which made me feel really great. My friends saw me one by one at school and other public places and they were all so incredibly supportive and happy for me. It made me feel so good about the decision I made and I am so grateful for that, alhamdulilah! It took so long for everyone I know to finally see me, especially because I waited about four months before posting a picture of myself in hijab on Instagram. I just really didn’t want to draw attention to myself and I didn’t need other people to validate my decision. I just wanted this experience to truly be mine and to truly be genuine.
How do you feel now, as a hijab-wearing woman?
It’s true that hijab definitely makes you feel different. In terms of the way I look, I 100% feel more put-together with hijab. Suddenly, old pictures of me look like I was naked in them. It’s such a strange feeling, but not a bad one. I also feel a new sense of responsibility; to be a better Muslim, to be a good representation of Islam when I leave the house, and to make sure I am being the best person I can be. Someone Allah (swt) will be pleased with, inshaAllah. It is somewhat daunting but also such a gratifying feeling.
Does your family support you in wearing hijab?
Alhamdulilah, yes! They never pressured me in my life and they were proud that I made this decision on my own. Especially now that they’re used to it, I feel nothing but support, alhamdulilah.
Does your husband prefer that you wear hijab?
Yes, he does! He loves that I wear hijab because he believes in its importance. He was the first person to see me in hijab that first day and I felt like he was truly happy for me, alhamdulilah. He also does everything he can to support me now, especially on days that I struggle a bit (that’s normal), which makes it a million times easier. He tells me that he respects me so much for having the strength to wear hijab. So yes ladies, men like this do exist! Don’t ever let a man compromise your hijab, Allah will give you what is best for you, for pleasing Him, inshaAllah.
Can you go outside at all without your hijab?
Yes! If it’s a private area, only family, women or no one else around to see, I don’t see why not!
Do you ever miss not wearing hijab?
It’s not that I miss not wearing hijab, but there are small things I miss about not wearing it. For instance, I miss not having to cover my neck, especially during the summer. About a year or two before I started wearing hijab, I developed a mild dermatitis on my neck (my skin would get easily irritated and itchy) and wearing hijab made it so much worse, unfortunately. But, I applied my creams, hydrated and kept going. Alhamdulilah, my skin got used to it over time and the dermatitis healed. Leaving the house looking a mess is also so much easier when you don’t wear hijab because no one thinks twice when they look at you. But now, I am more mindful of how others perceive me and have to remember to put the best face on Islam. I never know who will see me and how they will perceive Muslims (and Islam in general) after they do. Sure, you can choose to not care about those things, but I think this is important because for all you know, you could cause someone to see something positive about Islam because they saw you dressed well and making hijab look good. If you are planning to wear hijab and you are currently used to leaving the house looking a mess though (the way I used to, LOL), you now have an excuse to buy cute sweats and comfy hijabs just for those days when you need to run a quick errand ;). These little things may be harder on some days, but you really won’t notice it much once you’re used to hijab.
Was it difficult to shift your wardrobe/style to more modest clothing?
I already had a major crush on modest fashion thanks to the OG modest fashion bloggers on Instagram. I also love fashion in general, and therefore I LOOOVE shopping. All the shopping involved got me so excited about hijab. Of course, I kept a lot of clothes that could still work (don’t be so quick to throw away what you think might not look modest!) and I bought only what I could make a modest outfit out of which is really not as hard as it seems! You can layer, size up or shop the many modest fashion websites out there now! My favorites places to find normal clothes that can be made modest are H&M, asos and Zara. If you’d like to see a video or blogpost of how I shop modestly, let me know!
What major changes did you notice wearing hijab now versus before you did?
Positive major changes:
Being more mindful of my actions
Being able to pray outside the house easier
People treat me with more respect (especially men) because they’re not looking to compliment my looks as much
Feeling like my look is complete
Never having to worry about what to do with my hair (I was always the laziest person when it came to my hair)
Feeling like I am finally the same person I am in the masjid, outside of the masjid
Negative major changes:
I worry sometimes that someone who does not know anything about Islam could hurt me verbally or physically (alhamdulilah, this has never happened and inshaAllah it never will; may Allah protect us all)
I worry that people will assume I do not speak English and treat me with less respect (I have heard many stories of this happening and it has happened to me once or twice; you gotta just laugh it off and then speak your mind respectfully)
Is it disrespectful to still wear hijab even if you are not a Muslim?
Technically, if you are not a practicing Muslim and you put a scarf on your head, it isn’t hijab, therefore it is not disrespectful. Also, when non-Muslims visit a masjid, they cover from head to toe out of respect for the masjid, and that “hijab” is not disrespectful in any way. Long story short, no, it’s not disrespectful!
InshaAllah, when you have children, will you give your daughter the choice whether or not to wear hijab and support her decision either way?
InshaAllah, if I am blessed with a daughter someday, I will teach her (as well as any sons I may have) about the importance of showing love and devotion to our Creator. They will learn why I wear hijab and what the significance of it is. InshaAllah, with my encouragement, my daughter will come to the decision on her own, at an appropriate age when she feels ready, and she will have mine and my husband’s support the entire time. If she chooses to wear hijab, I would rather her wait to wear it than to wear it when she is not truly ready and end up regretting it somewhere down the line.
How can I overcome the superficial feelings I have toward hijab when making the decision to wear it?
I am not going to lie, there are days when I struggle (as many girls do) with how hijab makes me look. Somedays I really miss having my hair down (especially when it’s clean and has a nice bounce to it, you know ;)), and somedays I do not feel confident in what I am wearing or the scarf style I chose that day. That is when I change my outfit, and only wear what makes me feel beautiful, or I stay home and let my hair down lol. No shame in that, sometimes that’s what you need! Girls who do not wear hijab have days like this too; I know I did. The thing is, you can’t let yourself blame hijab on those days. You have the brains to know that you’re having an off day, and that there are outfits and scarf styles you know you feel cuter in, so go find those outfits! And if you’ve exhausted all your options, go shopping! That always makes me feel better, getting something new that will help me dress modestly, confidently. And of course, seek Allah’s help. Make duaa for confidence and for ease. May Allah make hijab easy on us all!
I was forced to wear hijab, how can I get over the negative relationship I have with it now?
I am so sorry that you had that experience. You are not alone. Unfortunately, there are so many girls around the world who have been forced to wear hijab by their fathers, husbands or even brothers. It is not right; Islam should not be forced. They are doing this because they think it is what is the best for you but they do not realize the harm they are causing. My best advice to you would be to reclaim your hijab story. Make a new story completely. Start over. Renew your intention with Allah (swt) and tell Him this is for His sake, not for your father’s or husband’s. No one has the right to take your story from you. Renew your intention with Allah as if you’re wearing hijab for the first time, and recommit yourself to it. Reflect on it and make it a positive outcome! Remember, you can always start fresh, and even without taking your hijab off. You being forced was a test from Allah, but He will also guide you, if you ask for it. May Allah make it easy on you and all the girls out there who were ever forced!
I took off my hijab, how can I go back to it?
Taking off hijab is as difficult a decision as wearing it for the first time. They both come with feelings of fear and anxiety. Will people treat me differently? How will I feel? Will I disappoint the people I love? But at the end of the day, the decision is 100% yours, and you need to consider Allah (swt), not your friends, and not even your family. Talk to Allah. Tell Him how you feel. Ask for His guidance. Be genuine in the decision you make. You should never be afraid to go back to hijab, whether you have it and want to remove it, or you already have removed it. It is the same as when someone is feeling low in their faith, you return to the One who matters, Allah. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an, “So remember Me; I will remember you. Be thankful to Me, and never ungrateful” {2:152}.
Do you ever regret waiting until 20 years old to wear hijab?
Overall, no, because I did it when I was meant to and at the time that was right for me. There are certain situations that I can remember being in when I was in high school when hijab probably could have benefited me. I was harassed constantly by a group of boys and I think if I had worn hijab at that time maybe things would have been different but then again maybe not. So again, I don’t regret waiting! Everyone has their time!
Did you experience any difficulty in choosing to wear it later as an adult versus earlier as a teen?
Honestly, no! I think I would have had a way harder time doing it when I was younger because I was very impressionable, I wouldn’t have been able to buy the things I wanted to for hijab, and I wouldn’t have known how to prepare for it the way I did. There is no shame in wearing hijab as an adult. You are never too old to do something good for the sake of Allah!
If you’ve gotten all the way down to here, firstly, thank you so much. Second, may Allah make your path to hijab as easy as possible! I was so happy to be able to write this and I pray that everyone who reads it finds benefit in it inshaAllah. I am no scholar, but if you still have questions, please feel free to reach out to me! Rest assured, if I do not know how to answer, I will either ask someone for you or I will refer you to someone who will know more than I do!
Thank you for your continued support and I hope to write more like this soon! Definitely let me know what you liked and what you’d like to see next. Until then, salam!
